hombre al borde

I'm about to give up on the men of Eau Claire. 

For whatever reason, this city, or maybe just this campus (though I'm thinking it's probably both) seems to attract an inordinate amount douchebags, both straight and gay.

Honestly, I have little problem with the straight guys being douches, 'cause, honestly, it would be weird if they weren't. 

The problem lies with the queers. 

The gay men of Eau Claire are nothing short of awful, and as of the publishing of this post, I shall abjure them (well, attempt to, at least...). 

Never have I felt like such an outcast amongst outcasts. I'm either too femmy or not gay enough, not Christian enough or too theistic, and I've actually been told that there's just something about me that stopped one particular gay Eau Clairian from seeing me and him in a relationship.


I feel like some sort of gay leper. 


But no more.


Because I'm better than them. 


So, I'm done with them.

muerte es solamente el principio

I often wonder about death.


As one who has dealt with suicidal ideation in the past, the question of what might lie beyond has occurred to me with frequency. 


It's a bold-faced understatement to say that there are many theories about this out there.


Some interesting ones, at least to me, are as follows:


1) Pearly gates, St Peter, list of naughty no-nos, and a chill, Club Med-esque paradise built into clouds.
     ~This is a personal fave, honestly, though I doubt if Heaven is a summer in Majorca. 


2) World Consciousness, bouts of reincarnation, suffering through being a bug or amoeba if you're bad.
    ~This is another afterlife I'm partial to. Reincarnation seems fun, though maybe if the whole karma thing was a non-factor in how we end up after each life. 'Cause, you know, I'm sooo going to end up as an amoeba. 


3) Underworld, VIP section for good people, VIP section for assholes, lots of nasty creatures, and all ruled by two douches in a bad marriage.
    ~Meh. It sounds like the New York society version of the afterlife, only without Bergdorf's or Tiffany's.


4) Nothing. Dirt nap.
     ~Least favorite. Though, silver-lining, I'd catch up on all my sleep from college...


Sorry of this comes off as depressing, but to be fair, you run a blog and watch 'Dead Like Me' simultaneously and see what you write about...

las mujeres que se velan

I stumbled upon an interesting news story today on Fascist State News.com (FOX). It concerned Muslim women and their reactions to a law passed in France that banned them from publicly wearing various forms of face-or-body-shielding head-wear, like the burka or hijab. Obviously, these ladies are not pleased. Refusing to abide by the law could result in arrest, fines of up to 120 euros, or even mandatory citizenship classes.

This seems like a random thing to post about, but it had me thinking. Where do we draw the line between secularism and public faith? The French fear radical Islam taking hold in their country (Islam is France's second-largest religious group, after Catholicism/Christianity), which, as an American alive during the 9/11 attacks, I can understand, at least on the surface.

However, how can we as a secular, Western society claim to ensure freedoms for all when we single out groups of people for repression, even if we say it's for 'their own good'? As a feminist and (sort of somewhat Christian), I find the idea of women 'hiding their beauty from lustful men for God' to be misogynistic, even bordering on human-rights-violation-territory, but still: don't these women have an intrinsic right to practice the tenets of their faith?

The way, I guess, that I've always looked at this issue is this: your right to do something (or not do something) extends as far as my safety and the safety of others, be it mentally physically, what have you.

So where's the harm to us if a Muslim woman where's a veil? Do our muscles contract in pain at the sight of black fabric draped across a face?

It seems to me, readers, that when countries like France (and Belgium and maybe Italy) take away rights in the name of freedom, they become the very fascists they fear. 

 France has always been a country of progress, forward-thinking, and innovation. Let's hope the zeal of a few xenophobes doesn't undo centuries of social progress.


French Muslims: fight for your rights.

lo que estoy buscando

It's hard to describe how I feel sometimes. I've often visualized emotions as colorful, gas-like entities, but for me, I feel they're like liquid. Colored water, sometimes sludge, churning in the bowels of my mind and my heart, sometimes erupting out into the world. 

The mental magma is in flux lately; it's searching for something. Sometimes I think it's just love or companionship, but now...I don't know. I think it's something deeper. Something a lot deeper. 

Meaning, maybe. Maybe I'm not just emotional horny. Maybe I'm having a quarter-life, existential crisis.

Or maybe I'm just crazy.

Sometimes, I'm inclined to vote the latter.